Noreen had been a part of three out of four of my mom’s births (mine included), and needless to say my mom always spoke very highly of her. So when I found out I was pregnant for the first time, I knew who I wanted to call.
My partner Drew, was a bit hesitant about home birth because like many others out there, he didn’t know much about it. At our first visit with Noreen, she explained that childbirth is a natural bodily function and it is something that women are designed to do. This made sense to Drew, and I was more confident than ever that we were doing the right thing and that we were in good hands.
I would love to say that i didn’t have a doubt in my mind during my pregnancy, but I’ll be perfectly honest, I had nervous thoughts/moments along the way. Not about the home birth, but about birth in general. Not knowing EXACTLY how labor was going to go, what it would feel like, and how was a baby going to fit through THERE?? (control freak?..Maybe a little) But after every group appointment, and having Noreen and the other 5 beautiful mamas in my group share stories and information and answer my millions of questions, I always left feeling empowered and confident.
For about a week before labour actually started, i had been having contractions and kept thinking (and hoping) that it was happening. Four days “overdue” and my water broke! An hour later I started having contractions and I knew this was it.
As intense as my contractions were, and as much as I moaned and groaned, my mind was completely calm. I never felt scared or like anything was wrong. I trust the process and what our bodies are capable of (now more than ever). I kept repeating the thought to myself ” I trust my body, I trust my baby”.
Noreen had a way of making me feel incredibly safe. I trusted her. She would make suggestions (about positions etc) by asking me if I wanted to… With her having done this literally thousands of times, I knew she must have been asking for a reason so i would agree to try whatever it was and it usually helped.
So with Noreen and her wisdom, and Ava reminding me to breathe and redirect the energy I was using to scream while I was pushing (not so easy at the time, but good advice nonetheless), my mom, my sister and Drew by my side, the most perfect little baby boy was born.
I cannot explain the feeling I had when Noreen handed me my son. I don’t think there is a word. More than happiness, more than love, more than gratitude. It was AMAZING. The whole process was amazing.
I can’t imagine doing it any other way. It was so nice to make my own decisions, move when and where I wanted, and take my time.
In our group appointments, Noreen had told us to envision how we wanted our labor/birth to go. Although it was a great experience, and i wouldn’t change a thing for this one, mine didn’t go exactly how I envisioned it. It was longer than I had wanted (12hours) and it was during the night so I was more tired than I needed to be. For my next pregnancy, I will only change a couple of things so that it goes how I envision.
I will be more confident from day 1.
I will trust more, and question less.
One thing I learnt during this process is that it doesn’t matter if you don’t know HOW it’s all going to go, worrying about it doesn’t help. If you can let go of any resistance you have and just trust in yourself and your body, everything will happen perfectly and naturally.