David’s Birth Story, by dad Joe

4 pm March 26, and all through the house,

not a creature was stirring except for Patricia’s (P) blouse.

The contractions had started, but were very light,

so P called Joe(J) and said “it may be tonight”.

J said “perfect, I’m just about done work”.

P said, “get home and don’t be a j###”.

So he did with a skip – he was quick as a bee;

and blew up the tub for Patricia to see.

Their other two woke from nap and started to shout,

so P thought … can’t have this baby with them freaking out!

With a clench and grrr she held it all in,

and the pulses stayed distant, 1 per 15 min.

Since things were slow,we decided to go

for a sumo sized serving at Mikado.

A quick store stop, a last check of supplies,

and then Kids to bed … with one diaper surprise.

We were all set to go, so J suggested a show.

But with tired eyes, it was shut down, with a very clear “NO”.

So they snuggled up tight to get rest for the night

with a little sweet kiss as they turned off the light.

At 1:25, P grew quite alive –

she smacked Joe on the head with zealous hi-five.

“I really can’t sleep, mom’s snoring too loud,

oh, and the contractions are starting to crowd.”

The next one – seven minutes thirty, followed by eight,

So J said “still time, let’s sleep, its late”.

P said, “No way, call Noreen now.”

So he did, she answered, and set off – kapow!

1:47 a.m

They decided to go to the pool down below,

but were hit by another half way on the go.

They reached the bottom, and another came quick.

THEY’D JUMPED TO 3 MINS, and WERE NOW VERY THICK!

P braced on the couch and Joe raced to the sink

It didn’t go on, come on JOE, THINK!

He followed the hose and found a big kink,

Fix it he did, but missed a key link…

The pressure had built, and when the water came out,

it flew from the pool and hit P with cold sprout!

P’s mom (mom) then arrived and calmed things down

P then determined she’d married a clown.

2:05a.m.

Joe and mom were rushing around,

getting buckets, cameras, towels and just holding it down.

20 minutes more and Noreen would be here,

no problem at all, nothing to fear!

2:06 a.m.

P said “It’s time to push, get me to the pool”,

So she scissor kicked in, mom helped as a stool.

Only 4 inches of water had built up this far,

But it was better than getting in a big ol’ car.

2:10

P kneeled down, while J then checked dilation.

She was 10, he said 8 – trying to cut trepidation.

No way, no such luck, she knew it was time,

so she pushed down with her instinctive rhyme.

The head started to come, there was fuzz everywhere,

That’s it Joe, you’re up, time to do your share.

Almost wetting himself, he recalled Noreen’s session,

Check the cord, stay positive, monitor progression.

2:17

With the next push he came! and gave a sweet cry!

That’s it! We did it! He really looked spry!

Back rubbed, airway checked, no problem in sight.

Then P noted, “you’re far, the cord? It’s not that long, right?”

J looked and found the cord to be torn…

Oh, no, let’s get Noreen back on the horn.

With calm and clarity, she showed them the way –

“pinch the cord on the baby side, just make it stay”.

Crisis averted, all safe and sound.

Shortly thereafter Noreen arrived at the ground.

She checked P and baby, both were quite fine.

A new life had started, we were all on cloud nine.